Kiss frontman Gene Simmons has branded and pitched everything from condoms to coffins...
So.....when a bizarre online site about Kiss Burgers recently surfaced, we wern't nearly as shocked as we should have been! It seemed the business plan was too good (and too weird) to be true. Here's how they pitched their ad campaign for these new KISS Burgers:
“For nearly three decades fans from all over the globe have been trying to get Kiss meat in their hands and into their mouths,” reads the Website, allegedly authored by Simmons. “Well now is your chance. At Kiss Burger, we want to put our meat inside you.”
That made me laugh, it didn't at all sound like a rock star's venture to burgers, but instead it sounded like a cheesy line from a porn script...so, we did a little research and made a call to the KISS Burger Hotline! The hotline revealed the geniuses behind the prank have directed all incoming calls to the owners of a West Hollywood porn palace called Studs Theater! A five-theater movie-plex offering “new and classic, gay and straight, adult entertainment".
That's what we all expected...right, so let me ask you this, surprised? I think not!
And what about all those other local burger joints and national burger chains...interested? “That guy from McDonalds? I did some research. He’s a mime, not a clown. Clown’s talk, mimes don’t. Next!”